Fitting In

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As, a child I was overweight, and as a result I was criticized by my fellow pears. However, this wasn’t the kind of criticism that would enable me to go in to a state of an emotional break down. I would laugh, depending on how light the remark would be, or I would show anger through verbal rage if I was embarrassed in front of a group of people, while this person would make the remark. This person could be one of family, friends or even enemies that would engage in these remarks as I was growing up as a child. I also was born bow-legged, which is normal in many births. However, I didn’t notice it until other people noticed it in my elementary days of life. As a result, I would be mocked, and questioned of my walk. The mockery I experience caused me to display anger when mocked, and questioned if I was a ‘normal’ kid, because of the way I walked. Even though my anger has become minimal, and my emotions declined, the experiences I went through as a child has mad me become sensitive to negative criticism. The sensitivity in most situations, whether it’ll be at home, school, or church, is still present inside, when engaged. Depending on the situation, people who are closest to me see this characteristic the most.

According to the Learning perspective, the environment and the experience I went through had an impact on my actions. When I was young, I was never taught to physically or verbally fight back at anyone who put me down. Therefore, when growing up, I took all the criticism in. By letting it all in meant that my emotions and my anger just accumulated until I no longer accepted it. That’s when I entered the state of offense � attacking anyone who tries to enter my territory the wrong way. To break down my experience in steps it would be as follows my personality, coping with others, reaction. According to Dr. Kevin Leman, I fitted under the category of Melancholies. I am a person who wants to do things the right way. I put a lot of emotional energy into getting something done correctly. I have a strong emotional attachment to stability, and my need of getting something done right often translates into a need for space, silence, and sensitivity. I am respectful, sensitive, and interpersonal. To think of all these characteristics, I would have been one of those kids who fitted in � and I did! But as the years progressed in elementary school, the critical marks had a big impact on me. The remarks made me more sensitive, and more bitter to people, and especially self-conscious. In the learning perspective, the psychologists would have assessed me through a variety of conditioning. In a testing I would be put through operant conditioning to see how I respond under different circumstances. I believe I would be put through positive reinforcement. Therefore, I would be put through a reinforcing stimulus, such as a remark would help me to respond to the criticism I had. Therefore, when criticism would happen in the future, I would handle it in a different matter, enabling me to motivate myself, and be more confident about myself.

According to the Sociocultural perspective, social and cultural forces had an affect on my behavior. In the social perspective, my peers, my family who I affiliated with influenced my behavior. Depending on who I associated with at different times, I would receive different remarks. This can account for the social perspective of this theory � my behavior was altered due to the different kind of characteristics by people I affiliated with. I had no problem with people who accepted me for who I was. However, when I started to get negative remarks based on my appearance, it lowered my self esteem; therefore, I developed a degree of sensitive to any critical remark. My family also had an affect on my behavior. My siblings who displayed love - however at times that we argued, remarks about my weight, or appearance would be brought up, out of anger that is. Even though I knew it wasn’t said on purpose, I absorbed it, and those remarks were accumulated and embedded in my mind. My mother and father were encouraging as usual, but at times my father would encourage me to lose weight � bluntly. This also affected me, and made me more sensitive to remarks based on my appearance. According to the social part of this perspective, I went through a lot of dispositional attribution because my actions were influenced by those around me. In a cultural point a view, the way I reacted to criticism is probably due to how I was raised by my parents. If this is the case, then my parents did not motivate me enough to stand up against others, believe in myself when criticized, and most importantly disregard the critical remarks and proceed in life. According to Dr. Kevin Leman, the little boy I use to be, I still am. That is partially true � I still have the sensitivities to remarks, but my characteristics as a whole individual has changed due to maturity.

I really don’t agree with the interpretations that I have just met according to perspectives. They are just theories, they are merely assumptions on my behaviors. I think the reason why my childhood experience went the way it did is because I allowed it to. I control my actions and my reactions to remarks; therefore if I had controlled how I felt, and not allowed it to get to me so often, I would have been a stronger individual then and, today handling situations completely different. I believe that sitting on my past won’t allow me to proceed into the future. Certain characteristics and traits of mine can be controlled, thus, altering how I react to different situations. I believe as time goes on, I will have the ability to overcome sensitivity to remarks due to constant self motivation and open discussions with ones who I am close with.






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