Borderline Personality Disorder

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Borderline Personality Disorder is like eternal hell. Pain, anger, confusion and hurt, are all feelings that occur from one minute to the next. I hurt those I love. I feel misunderstood. I analyze everything. There is nothing that really gives me pleasure. Once in a great while, I will get too happy and then anxious because I was happy. Sometimes I physically hurt myself. Then I feel guilty because I cut myself. I want to die; but I’m not able to kill myself because Id feel too much guilt for those Id hurt. I feel angry about being guilty; so I cut myself or try to over dose to make all the feelings go away.


Mental health authorities theorize that borderlines are born with an innate biological tendency to react more intensely to lower levels of stress than others and to take longer to recover. They peak higher emotionally and take longer to come down.


In addition, they were raised in environments in which their beliefs about themselves and their environment were continually devalued and invalidated. These factors combine to create adults who are uncertain of the truth of their own feelings, and who are confronted by three basic dialectics -- vulnerability vs. invalidation, active passivity (tendency to be passive when confronted with a problem and actively seek a rescuer) vs. apparent competence (appearing to be capable when in reality internally things are falling apart) and unremitting crises vs. inhibited grief -- they have failed to master and rush frantically from pole to pole. Other primitive defenses cited include magical thinking, beliefs that thoughts can cause events, omnipotence, projection of unpleasant characteristics in the self onto others and projective identification, a process where the borderline tries to evoke in others the feelings she/he is having.


Signs also include chaotic, extreme relationships with others, an inability to retain the soothing memory of a loved one, transient psychotic episodes, denial and emotional amnesia. About the last, Borderline individuals are so completely in each mood, they have great difficulty remembering what its like to be in another mood.





People with Borderline Personality Disorder experience such violent and frightening mood swings that they often fear for their sanity. They can be euphoric one moment, despairing and depressed the next.


There are an estimated 10 million sufferers of Borderline Personality Disorder living in America today. Each one displaying remarkably similar symptoms a shaky sense of identity, sudden violent outbursts, over sensitivity to real or imagined rejection, brief, turbulent love affairs, frequent periods of intense depression, eating disorders, drug abuse, and other self-destructive tendencies, an irrational fear of abandonment and an inability to be alone. The world of a borderline, like that of a child, is split into heroes and villains.


A child emotionally, the borderline cannot tolerate human inconsistencies and ambiguities; she/he cannot reconcile good and bad qualities into a constant coherent understanding of another person. At any particular moment, one is either good or evil. There is no in-between, no gray area; people are idolized one day and totally devalued and dismissed the next. Normal people can experience two contradictory states in harmony; borderline’s shift back and forth, entirely unaware of one feeling state while in the other. 


This is an example of the daily struggle that millions of Americans, diagnosed with borderline personality disorder face. Living life from day to day is a struggle. There are as always good and bad days. The good days are great, and the bad days are horrible.


With proper medication and therapy borderline personality disorder can be controlled. Borderlines can start to feel whole again. The stress of daily life can seem not so bad. All the mixed emotions that occur from one minute to the next can subside just long enough to have a good day. The pain and feelings of wanting to die and the urge to hurt myself slowly goes away. The eternal hell that is life slowly becomes bearable and it isn’t so bad being alive.








Works Cited


“Overview of Borderline Personality Disorder.” 11 October 00


http//www.borderlinedisorders.com.


“BPD Research Foundation.” 11 October 00


http//www.borderlineresearch.org.


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